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Permission to Love

Matthew 18:1-6

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Jesus was not saying that we should become “childish” in our behavior, but that we should have a childlike faith in Him and be fully dependent on Him as a child is dependent on a parent. This encapsulates what is expected of all Christians. He also warned that anyone who leads a child astray (a child in the faith or literally an innocent child) will have a great price to pay. Emotions may run high between you and your co-parent at times, but how you speak about the other parent to, or in front of, your children sends a message about what you can tolerate. Do your words and behavior about your co-parent in front of the children give them permission to love the other parent without condition? Or do they often see you roll your eyes, or make snide and disrespectful comments, that sends the message that you might not love them if they love the other parent. A child’s identity is wrapped up in feeling part of each parent. Children often hear, “You look just like your dad” or “You are sweet like your mother”. When you tear down their other parent, they wonder if they are like what you describe, too. When kids do not have permission to love the other parent, the logical conclusion is that they also do not have permission to love themselves.

Prayer for Today: Lord, help me to see the other parent through your eyes and to focus on giving my children permission to love their parents by honoring their feelings for both of us. I give my will over to you and pray for yours to take its place.

Questions to Ponder: Can you think of any justification for showing your disdain for the other parent when your child’s emotional, mental and spiritual welfare is at stake? What will you do differently in your behavior this week to protect these areas?