Kids in the Middle: When it Makes Sense

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

In yesterday’s devotion, there were several phrases listed that can be used to free children from the adult tug-of-war. Today, we’re going to explore when it makes sense for children to be part of the adult decision-making process so their feelings can be honored and issues can be discussed openly. There is often a fine line between putting a child in the middle for selfish reasons and allowing a child to have limited power in the decisions adults make for them. These are two different concepts, but they can feel somewhat murky. Here are a few common questions co-parents have:

· When is it okay to talk to children about their other parent’s mental health issues (e.g. drug or alcohol problem, depression, narcissism, etc.) without it sounding like I’m causing problems or putting them in the middle?

· Shouldn’t my older teen have a say about how much time he spends with each of us?

· My child is at an age when she wants to spend a lot of time with her friends and choose her own activities. Is it wrong to encourage her if it means she will spend more time away from her other parent?